Atlanta surgeon says her boyfriend ‘doesn’t wish to work’ — however stats present many males share this ‘deal breaker’

[ad_1] Forty-year-old Jenny is a surgeon incomes practically half 1,000,000 {dollars} a 12 months.

She referred to as into The Ramsey Present to ask a tough monetary and emotional query: “My boyfriend doesn’t wish to work. Is {that a} deal breaker?”

Whereas Jenny is projecting to earn $500,000 this 12 months, her 51-year-old actor boyfriend earned lower than $23,000 final 12 months. He has labored simply two days previously 12 months.

The present’s hosts, Dave Ramsey and co-host Rachel Cruze, didn’t mince phrases.

“Is that engaging to you? Are you want, ‘What a winner’?” Cruze requested bluntly.

The crimson flag isn’t simply the distinction in earnings. Ramsey emphasised it was the shortage of drive that Jenny ought to be careful for, “I don’t care if he makes as a lot cash,” he mentioned. “I care that he doesn’t work.”

The hosts doubled down on the shortage of ambition. Cruze identified, “I am not mad that he does not have a job as an actor each week, however no less than he is like, hey, I am nonetheless busting my butt and I am part-time right here, I am ready tables right here and I am making an attempt to make this dream work… however the truth that there's nothing in between that that is occurring, proper? As a lady who works and all of it, that is not engaging to me,”

Jenny additionally added, “We wish to proceed our relationship and preserve transferring ahead and ultimately get married and reside collectively.”

However the surgeon additionally clearly had apprehensions about a number of the proposed preparations: “[H]e says as a result of the home will probably be underneath my title, he shouldn’t pay for any a part of the mortgage.”

Ramsey was direct, saying, “He clearly is an unmotivated slug.”

Jenny continued, revealing she has repeatedly requested him how he will get by with out regular work.

“He’s 51 and I’m undecided how a lot issues are going to vary,” she mentioned.

When Ramsey requested whether or not Jenny had kids and he or she mentioned no, he countered by asking her, “When you had a daughter that requested you this query, what would you inform her? You have already got made this choice. You simply needed another person to say it out loud. And I will inform you, in case you go ahead with this man, you are going to get more and more resentful and more and more bitter.”

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The co-hosts additionally identified that in trendy relationships, the normal roles will be reversed, with many ladies right now being the first breadwinners. However what’s non-negotiable is effort.

“It’s 2025,” Cruze mentioned. “There's some stay-at-home dads. So, even when that was the case and he is like, hey, we're having to help children and you've got a demanding job, I am in a position to do that and this and this, what I imply? However there's like effort concerned. There’s none of that.”

The ultimate verdict from Ramsey adopted: “We predict it is a deal breaker and so do you. And also you simply needed another person to say it out loud.”

Learn extra: Need an additional $1,300,000 once you retire? Dave Ramsey says this 7-step plan ‘works each single time’ to kill debt, get wealthy in America — and that ‘anybody’ can do it

A lot of American males usually are not working. In 2024, that quantity was nearly at 7 million, although April 2025 U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics information now finds a complete of seven.2 million People (female and male) unemployed. The explanations vary from labor market disruptions to psychological well being struggles, however the final impression is that the male workforce is steadily declining.

Again in 1970, acquiring a highschool diploma was nearly all the time sufficient to get a spot within the workforce. Almost 98% of younger males with solely a highschool schooling have been both working or actively searching for work. Quick-forward to 2013 and that determine had slipped to 88%. In 2024, that quantity was even decrease with simply 87% of younger males with a highschool diploma taking part within the labor drive, reflecting a long-term shift within the job market and what it takes to remain employed.

However it’s not nearly schooling. So why is that this occurring?

Manufacturing, building and different historically male-heavy sectors have shrunk dramatically. These industries have been hit by automation, offshoring and financial restructuring, leaving fewer steady, high-paying jobs for males with out faculty levels.

In reality, a Pew Analysis Middle examine discovered that “males who usually are not college-educated go away the workforce at greater charges than males who're. On the similar time, fewer youthful males have been enrolling in faculty over the previous decade,” in keeping with CNBC.

Psychological well being challenges, together with despair and substance abuse, are additionally causes contributing to the decrease variety of males within the workforce.

There may be additionally a rising sense of disconnection and purposelessness amongst younger males. An Financial Technique Group report discovered that males are more and more disengaged from work, schooling and relationships. As a substitute, they're turning to on-line leisure, gaming and web communities. This elevated isolation then additional limits employment prospects as a result of a narrowing of social networks.

Alternatively, girls have steadily elevated their share of school levels {and professional} employment. In line with a Ladies in Academia report, girls earned nearly 67% of all Grasp's levels awarded in 2021-2022 within the U.S.

The results are huge. A shrinking male workforce means knock-on results like decrease tax income, heavier demand for social providers and decrease homeownership charges.

As to learn how to treatment this drop in participation, Financial Technique Group recommends:

guaranteeing those that wish to enter faculty after pandemic-related disruptions are in a position to take action

restoring pathways to financial safety outdoors of the faculty pipeline

equipping younger males with the social and emotional help to navigate this era of their lives

In Jenny’s particular person case, Ramsey argued that the shortage of ambition is just not sustainable in a long-term partnership — that this lack of effort would carry over to different aspects of their life collectively. In a tradition that values contribution and fairness in relationships, an absence of initiative is usually a severe deal-breaker — and must be.